Ed's Freaky Dreams
by BlissfulSunlight
Summary: After being annoyed by Alphonse about his dreams, Ed expeirences some VERY strange dreams that may or may not have influenced by the book he's been reading lately. Warning: Possible slash couples: Roy/Ed, Alphonse Hei/Ed, and Russel/Ed. Highly unlikely
1. Prologue: Totally normal conversations

**Ed's Freaky Dreams: Prologue**

"Brother,…what do you dream of?" young Alphonse asked as his older brother sat across from him at the small outside café finishing off the last off his melted ice cream sundae through a straw with loud, obnoxious sucking noises. Once he finally stopped attacking the straw with his lips trying to get every last drop, he sucked in a big breath of air and said, "Hhm, what? I zoned out there for a bit. Wha'd you say, Alphonse?" Alphonse gave him a sad look and mumbled, "What do you dream of, Brother?" Edward stared at his younger brother in confusion. "That's… kind of a weird question. Why does it matter?"

Alphonse shrugged. "Well… I dunno. I mean…" he looked away from Edward. "You certainly sleep a whole lot. So I was thinking, what would make you want to sleep so much? Because it's not like we ever do anything to make you so tired. So I figured… You must have some pretty great dreams. But it's bugging me. What kind of dream is so wonderful that you would want to sleep the whole day away, like you do?" He looked back at his brother curiously. Ed seemed completely uninterested with the conversation.

He sighed. "Gee, Alphonse. Way to completely over analyze my sleeping habits. Did you ever think, I'm just a tired person?" Alphonse frowned. "I'm not. And you're not. You're usually so full of energy, I can't get you to calm down." "And where do you think I _get _all that energy from?" Alphonse grumbled in reply, "Well it's certainly not from drinking your milk." "HEY!" Edward leaned forward and growled angrily. "Watch it!" He backed off a bit. Alphonse stuck his tongue out at Ed. "Pfft." He rested his head in his hand and glanced away again. "Why can't you just answer my question?-" "Well, why is it so Goddamned important?" He smacked his automail hand on the table and glowered. "Jeez, it's nothing. Calm down." Edward backed off grumbling something unintelligible. "I swear, you've got a temper so bad, sometimes I think you're gunna turn into the Incredible Hulk." Edward ignored him and, looking up, blew his hair from his face to no avail. It only got in the way more.

After a few seconds Edward calmed down and said, "You know, it's funny. I can't even remember most of my dreams. From what I can think of … it's all just a bunch of weird colors and random people talking gibberish like I'm supposed to understand. It actually kind of looks like a movie… on crack." Alphonse sighed. "Wow. Beautiful answer, Ed. Truly. Bravo." he said, his voice filled with sarcasm. "Okay, fine. Fine. Then, pray tell, Brother. What the Hell do _you_ dream about, huh? Can you tell me _that_?" Al gave him a look up and down, like a glare almost. He stood and said, "Fair enough. Forget I even asked." Ed stood too and said, " Oh I know what you dream about all the time." He made a stupid face and spoke in a goofy voice as they proceeded to walk away. "**Duhhh, my name is Alphonse. I'm stupid and like to dream about CATS all the time. DURR.**" They both laughed and agreed that was probably true. "Yeah, well I wouldn't dream about cats all the time if you would just let me have one!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can have a cat when-" "When you grow taller? Oh Ed, that's just cruel. I'll never have one then!" "…Don't… Push it, Alphonse." As they continued walking, their voices slowly faded.


	2. Night1: We're not in Amestris anymore

Ed's Freaky Dreams: Part One

**Alphonse slowly open the door to Ed and his bedroom at there apartment. The room was dark except for the right hand corner of the room closest to the door. There sat Edward Elric completely passed out at his small desk, leaning back in his chair with a book on his face. The corner was lit by a small reading lamp neatly placed on the desk. Al smiled and crept inside the room, closing the door behind him quietly. He silently approached his sleeping sibling. "Oh Brother, why don't you ever know when to put yourself to bed?" he said more to himself than Ed. He picked up the book on Edward's face and quietly read aloud the cover. "****Cinderella**?" He flipped through the thick book quickly. "I didn't know this was a novel." He put the book down on the desk. "Hmm. Weird."

He glanced at his brother who twitched in his sleep, and sighed. Alphonse pulled the metal cord and clicked the light off. He slung Ed's automail arm over his shoulder and stood him up, nudging him lightly. The older boy barely opened his eyes and groaned quietly. "Come on, Brother. I'll help you to bed." said Al.

Edward fell heavily on his bed and almost instantly fell back asleep. "Thanks, Al…" he mumbled. His younger brother laughed a bit. "_You're_ supposed to be the one taking care of _me_, Brother. Not the other way around." He pulled the dragged the blankets out from underneath Edward and over his body. He smiled. "Have sweet dreams, Brother. And tell me all about them when you wake up." Al whispered sweetly to the sleeping boy. Then, he bent over and lightly kissed Edward's forehead lovingly. "Mmkay…" he yawned. Ed turned on his side. "I promise, Al…" he mumbled before falling into a deep sleep.

**AND NOW, **

**FOR THE GOOD STUFF!**

**THE ACID-Y **

**CRACK**

**YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR,**

**HAS ARRIVED.**

**IF YOU'VE GOT ANY DRUGS,**

**TOSS THEM ASIDE NOW.**

**YOU WON'T BE NEEDING THEM AFTER READING THIS.**

**ALL MIND RAPING, **

**AMUSING JOKES,**

**AND TOM-FOOLERY**

**HAS BEEN MADE POSSIBLE BY EDWARD ELRIC**

**AND HIS NUTTY LITTLE MIND.**

**WELL,**

**AND 'ME' OF COURSE.**

**BUT I'M NOT IMPORTANT.**

**THANK YOU FOR SKIMMING THROUGH THE BORING CRAP I CALL A PROLOGUE.**

**PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS **

**AND KEEP YOUR HANDS, **

**FEET, **

**COCKS, **

**BREATS,**

**AND ALL OTHER ACCESSORIES**

**IN THE VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES.**

**THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN,**

**FOR WASTING YOUR LIFE **

**READING MY THOUGHTS.**

**The *****Rainbows and Sparkly Thoughts***** Corporation can not be help legally responsible for any injuries mental or physical, psychological trauma, or mutations caused by reading this. **

**WARNING. May Cause:**

**Llama/Narwhal frenzies or stampedes**

**Blindness**

**Breast Cancer**

**Testicular cancer**

**Tummy aches**

**Sore throats**

**Tears of joy **

**Scarring of the brain and all pure thoughts**

**Redness of the facial epidermis**

**Loss of respect for any and all characters of FMA**

**Magical rainbows and sparkles to appear randomly when looking at strange men**

**The desire to touch yourself **

**The desire to touch others**

**Giggles**

**Mental retardation**

**Self mutilation**

**Hunger**

**Delirium**

**The strong urge to rise from where you are currently sitting and lap dance others around you**

**The strong desire to get up and start dancing to songs that aren't playing when no one's home**

**Head explosion**

**Head implosion**

**Loss of mental virginity**

**Loss of innocence**

**Random decapitation of all pupies, kittens, fishies, and all small animals within a 3mile radius**

**Sex**

**HAVE FUN KIDDIES!**

Beginning of Dream Sequence

The Fullmetal Alchemist and his younger brother Alphonse stood in front of a rather large mansion awkwardly placed in the middle of Nowhere. Lush green grass and a clear blue sky surrounded them for miles.

"Brother-" Alphonse started.

"No." Edward cut in.

"Brother, we have to ask for directions. Face it. We're lost." he says to his big-ego'ed older brother. Ed was one of those guys who just couldn't stop and ask for directions. Especially since he and Al traveled by foot from town to town and never once got lost.

"Pfft. _You're_ lost. I know exactly where we are." He crossed his arms stubbornly.

"_Really?_" Alphonse said in sarcastic disbelief.

"Yes." he replied annoyed with his brother's tone. Alphonse waited in reply for Edward to say something.

"….."

"…." Silence descended upon them. No one spoke.

"Well?" Alphonse yelled impatiently.

"'Well' what?" he said.

"Where the Hell are we?" Alphonse shouted in annoyance.

"Nowhere." came the long awaited reply. Alphonse couldn't believe Edward had actually said that.

"…._Oh, Yeah. That's really helpful_." he spat.

"..It is. You asked me where we were, and I told you. Nowhere. The middle of it actually." Edward said slowly, not understanding why his brother was talking to him like some sort of idiot. Alphonse sighed, annoyed at his older brother's ignorance.

"I can't believe _you're_ the one calling _me_ useless. I swear…sometimes-" he was cut off again.

"Alphonse. What are you talking about? We're Nowhere. Is it that hard to understand?" Now Ed was the one speaking like he was talking to someone stupid.

Alphonse's palm hit his forehead with a loud smack. Edward pointed to a huge white sign that had just appeared.

"Look. Can't you read? '**Kingdom of Nowhere ****:Recently relocated to the middle of Nowhere**'" he read the sign aloud. Alphonse gaped at the large sign.

"T-That wasn't there a second…B-But…" he stuttered. Edward smiled triumphantly.

"Whatever. We're still asking for directions." Al grumbled. He turned and started for the entrance into the mansion.

"Fine. But I'm not doing it. You have to." Ed stated stubbornly.

"Fine. I didn't really expect you to anyway." he said.

They both approached they giant doors of the mansion with caution. Alphonse knocked 3 times and waited patiently for an answer. There was none.

"Looks like no one's home. Too bad, so sad, let's go. Now." Edward said annoyed.

"…Maybe if we-" he reached to knock again, but just before his hand hit the wood, the doors creaked open.

An elderly looking woman was inside. She wore an old, frayed dress the color of the sky. Her stringy, gray hair tied up in a bun with a white ribbon. Her dark green eyes were bright with excitement. She spoke with an English accent.

"Ello'! How are we this fine day, kiddies?" Ed and Al exchanged looks.

"Excuse me Miss, but we're a little lost. Can you-" Alphonse just couldn't seem to finish a sentence that day.

"Oh!" She laughed. Obviously, she found something very funny. Whatever it was, Edward didn't like it. "Oh, dearies! You're not lost. You're home!"

Edward laughed sarcastically, almost bitter. "Ah, No. We don't live here."

"Oh, but ya' do!" she insisted.

"You must have us mistaken for someone else." he replied coolly. She laughed again. Edward growled, and clenched his fists. "Listen, old lady! We don't have time for games, so just tell us how to get to-"

"Oh, tempah, tempah. You've got ta' keep ya cool there, dearie. Come inside! Come in! Come in!" she coaxed. Ed growled with distrust, but Alphonse took a wary step as she led them inside.

"Thank you Ma'am, but we really just need to-" What she did next really caught him off guard.

"Ohhhh, you poor thing, you." she said with pity as she hugged Alphonse tightly and pet his head. Alphonse's eyes widened and he froze confused. Edward stepped forward and got between the two. Forcibly. He glared at the woman and said through clenched teeth, "Don't you touch my brother, you old hag." She backed up several steps.

He barked, "I don't know who the Hell you think you are but-"

There was that sickening laugh again. " I had a feel'n you might get amnesia again before tonight. You always do on important occasions such as this. But I didn't think you'd give it to the wee one here!" She looked at Alphonse, who cowered in fear behind his older brother.

"Amnesia? What?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Yess, you get it all the time. Ever since that accident when you were lit'al." she said.

"Accident? What are you going on about?" Edward snapped.

"You were always a rambunctious child. They should've kept a better eye on you, I told them. But you were left alone with the Prince, and ya' got out of their sight. I knew it would happen. You can't leave a fifteen-year-old boy in charge of a little tike like they did." She sighed, saddened by the memory. "You were only five at the time. You found you're way to the Throne Room and climbed right up on the high chair. Then ya' fell right down and hitcha' noggin." Edward gaped at her, amazed. She had clearly lost her mind.

"Yeaaaahhhh, right. Well, we'll just be on our way now. Thanks for… whatever." he said, slowly making his way towards the door, hiding Alphonse behind him protectively.

"But Ya' can't leave now! There's far to much to do!" her voice echoed and carried on throughout the entire palace it seemed. As if the whole place was empty.

"Oh, but we really must be going now." Ed smiled politely, not wanting to upset her, fearing she was insane.

"Noee, you can't leave! You've got a party tonight!" she coaxed.

"What party?" he asked, mildly interested.

"Why, you're Sweet Seventeen party! Don't tell me you've forgotten it's ya' own birthday!" she sounded excited.

"My birthday… No it's not!" Ed yelled.

"And…isn't it supposed to a Sweet _Sixteen_ party?" Alphonse interjected. Edward shushed him.

She laughed hard and long, irritating Edward. "Ah, don't you fret my dears, we'll have you all dolled up and ready in time. It'll be marvelous, it will! A grand old time we'll all have, tonight." She exclaimed, beginning to walk away from them down some seemingly endless corridor to the right. Her voice was already starting to fade. She called to some servants to attend to the boys, but no one came. And she laughed until she was neither seen, nor heard.

Alphonse stood confused. "What? Birthday party? Accident? Amnesia? What's she going on about?" He looked to his older brother for an answer he didn't have.

"She's crazy. And she scares me." was all he could say. Al nodded in fear. "I don't like this place, Brother."

In the center, dead ahead, were long, ascending steps all the way to the top floor of the mansion. A small black opening could just barely be seen at the top. On either side of the steps on the ground floor, a vast hallway that were lit with bright white, blinding lights. They glanced around the enormous room and all the strange paintings that hung on the walls loosely, the oddly shaped and colored vases that sat on small tables, and chairs that were randomly strewn about the room. Edward replied, "I don't either." They walked around and inspected the paintings. They all seemed to be constantly changing, not that Ed or Al thought that was strange. Al touched a random painting and it changed.

"Weird…" he murmured. "Yeah…I know what you mean." Ed agreed mindlessly, engrossed in the moving pictures. What appeared in front of Alphonse was a short, silent a picture show of a man being murdered violently and senseless by savage dogs. He shivered. "This place gives me the Creeps."

"I know. I'm getting bad vibes." Ed replied, not looking at Alphonse.

"What do you mean? What kind of vibes?"

Edward paused to think for a moment. "Gay ones. Like… Homosexuality is in the air." he said. Al stared at him, baffled. "H-…Homosexuality…has a smell?"

"Well, duh Alphonse. Everyone knows that."

"What~ever. I wanna go home!" the younger boy whimpered.

"Me too. Let's get the Hell out of here." Edward said, pointing to the entrance. Al nodded in agreement, and they turned and ran for the door. Just as their hand touched the handles, they were lifted into the air and squirmed like worms for freedom.

"Ahh! W-What the-" Ed exclaimed, turning his head as far left as he could, to try and view his captor. Thankfully, a familiar face.

Alex Lois Armstrong help them both up high, by the backs of their shirt collars, enough so that they had eye contact with the man. He was dressed in his usual clothes that lay underneath the military uniform, witch he wasn't wearing now. Brown vest and pants with suspenders and a white button-up shirt neatly tucked in.

"There you two are! We've been looking all over for you! Good thing I found you before you got yourselves into trouble." he said happily.

"M-Major? What are YOU doing here?" Ed exclaimed.

"P-Please put us down." Al squeaked.

"Forgive me, but I had to make sure you weren't trying to run off again! It is very important that you two stay in sight the rest of this evening. There can be no errors. It will be perfect!" he explained.

"What the Hell are you blathering on about this time?" Ed kicked and squirmed, but to no avail did he escape Armstrong's iron-grip.

"Oh. The amnesia has returned again, Princess? Such a shame. I'm sure it will pass by in time for the big event."

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME 'PRINCESS'? YOU BETTER PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW, OR I'M GUNNA-" Ed shouted with inexplicable rage, his face red with anger.

"Come! We must make sure you two are dressed and ready in time! Your servants shall see to it that not a hair is out of place." He carried them off down the corridor the left of the giant staircase, ignoring their pleas and shouts. The lights were absolutely blinding to Ed and Al. They couldn't see a thing. They both groaned and covered their eyes. Eventually, they reached an opening to their left and Armstrong passed through it. Finally, the lights were dimmed and the boys began to blink their eyes open slowly. Once they reached their destination, Armstrong dropped them down in front of two curtain covered doorways to the right. "Ah, here we are." he said.

Ed rubbed his eyes and said, "Well what the Hell are we supposed to do he'-ERREE!" the last of his word ending with a scream as a hand darted out from behind the second curtain and pulled him in fast. Like lightning.

Alphonse gasped. "BrothERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERRR!" Suddenly, whatever was behind the first curtain sucked Alphonse into the darkness like a vacuum cleaner. He fell flat on his back and slid down a long metal, swirling slide. It curved at every possible angle. Alphonse screamed and swiveled down the spiraling shoot until finally he crashed right through a metal trapdoor and onto a large, soft, pink pillow, completely unharmed. He gasped for air and his eyes darted around franticly trying to take in his surroundings all at once. So fast, he tried, that the sudden light in the room blinded his eyes for several moments. So many colors, so many foreign objects. He couldn't make sense of it all. Until he noticed three small Asian/American women standing around him. "Slide is fun, yes?" said one of them.

"Uhmm…no, not at all." he said as two of them, one of them being the one who spoke, grabbed his arms and helped him stand. His head was reeling. They held on and led the dizzy boy to a fuzzy chair and made him sit. The one who hadn't moved yet spoke next. "Don't worry, Princess, we make you beootiful for your sista's party tonight, mmkay?"

"W-what? Princess? Me? I-" he was silenced by all of them grabbing at him at once. Six hands traveled his entire body. He felt so violated, but couldn't push them back. He gasped and whimpered, but his struggling only made their grips tighter on him. "Just relax, Princess. We take care of everything, okay?" one of them spoke.


	3. Night2: I feel pretty Oh so pretty

**Ed's Freaky Dreams: Part Two**

Sunlight filled the room as the Fullmetal Alchemist slowly opened his eyes. He yawned and sat up, glancing around the room hazily before throwing the covers off and standing up, stretching his arms high above his head. An overwhelming sensation filled his body. His vision went black and fuzzy. He felt light headed. He stretched, moaned, and whimpered as he felt like his body was being drained from all life in a matter of seconds. He screamed, gasped and fell back on his bed, unable to move for minute. He panted and sat up. Slowly, he said, "What the Hell was that?"

He was answered by a knock at his bedroom door, followed by, "Brother? Are you alright?" Alphonse edged the door open slightly and peeked in.

"Yeah, Alphonse,… I'm fine." he yawned. The blonde stood up and walked towards his younger brother.

"Jeez, you scared me with that. Why'd you scream?" he said.

"I dunno. I got up and stretched and just… died." he scratched the back of his head with his automail arm and ran his metal fingers through his long, golden hair. "What's for breakfast? I'm starving."

Alphonse smiled. "Is that all you ever think about?"

"All you ever think about is cats." Ed replied pushing past his little brother standing in the doorway.

"So what does that have to do with anything?"

"I dunno. Shut up and make me some damn breakfast, will ya'? You know I can't cook." he said plopping down on the couch. Alphonse sighed, "Fine, I'll make you your damn food."

"Hey, you know what's weird?" Ed said turning around and kneeling on the couch, facing Alphonse.

"What?" he said.

"Remember last night when you said something about me having good dreams and telling you about them when I wake up?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, it actually worked."

Alphonse stopped what he was doing and looked at Edward. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I remember my dream."

"Was it any good?"

"…Well it was weird. I'll give it that." As Alphonse cooked, Edward told him as much as he could remember, up until he woke up. They then sat at a table together and ate, discussing the peculiar-ness of the dream.

"Well, that sucks. I want to know what happens next." said Al before stuffing his face with French toast lightly coated in powdered sugar.

"I know! I want to know what the Hell happened to me!" Edward exclaimed with a mouthful of food. A small food particle flew from Edward's mouth and hit Alphonse's face. He frowned in disgust. "Pleease," he groaned, "for the love of God, don't talk while chewing at the same time." Edward poked his tongue out at his brother and continued massacring his plate. "Didn't anyone ever teach you any manors? Look at yourself! Elbows on the table, talking with a mouthful of food, chewing with your mouth open, could you _get_ any more rude or be any more distasteful to look at?" Alphonse ranted. Edward didn't listen to a word of it. Al sighed and silence descended upon them. When they finished, Al stoop up and said, "So, your dream just ends with me getting raped by Asian ladies?"

Edward burped loudly, stood to, and said, "Yeah, pretty much." Alphonse frowned. "Nice to know I get a happy ending." he said sarcastically, putting his plate, glass, and utensils in the sink. Edward followed suit. He grinned. "Maybe tonight I'll dream the rest up and see what happens." Al nodded, "I hope so."

That night, he lay in bed, his eyes heavy, struggling to focus on the words in his book. He yawned, sleepily. His brother walked over to him and snatched the book right from his hands. "Hey!" Ed protested. Al just shushed him and flipped through the pages eyeing them skillfully. He stopped at a certain page and stared at the picture. "Come on! Give it back! I was reading that! Alphonse!" Ed argued. Al pointed to the person in the picture that struck him most odd. "Look, that man right there. Who is that?" he said.

"Hmm… I think," he yawned, "that's the Prince. Why?" Ed asked.

"Because he reminds me of someone…I'm not sure..- Oh I know! Colonel Mustang-" "Ewww!" Ed spat before Alphonse could finish his statement. "That looks nothing like him, Alphonse." Al closed the book and threw it on Edward's lap.

"Whatever, like I care. Go to bed." Al said as he sat down on his bed next to Edward's.

"Don't tell me what to do." Edward hissed back.

"Goodnight." Alphonse clicked the light off, not giving his brother a choice. He groaned and slid the book to the floor. "Night." he grumbled.

"And don't forget to dream of what happens next!" whispered Al in the darkness.

But Ed was mad now. Now, because of stupid Alphonse, he wouldn't dream of a sequel. Now, he would have nightmares about a certain Colonel all night long.

"Stupid…basterd…asshole…no good…" he grumbled unhappily in the dark. Luckily, the last thing he thought of before drifting off to sleep, was his book.

Beginning of Dream Sequence

Edward stood at the very top of those steps he had seen when he first came in, from the main room. At the very top, he was. Had come from that small black door way he had noticed. Led up here by one of the Asian/American woman, through some confusing, winding passageway of tunnels possibly? He wasn't sure. Nor did he care. Because it didn't matter. He didn't know how to feel now. Embarrasst and ashamed beyond anything he could have ever imagined, or rolling on the floor, roaring with laughter. For in front of him stood his once younger brother. Dressed in the same ridiculous manner he was.

"A-Al? Is that YOU? God, what have they done to my baby brother?" he gasped.

"Me? _You're_ the one I'm worried about! Look at yourself!" Alphonse replied.

They stood and stared at each other for a long time, trying to take in each detail and make sense of it all. The madness.

Alphonse wore a long, sparkly, spaghetti-strapped, peach colored, princess-type looking ball-gown, slightly layered at the hips and curving over his hips quite nicely, and downward with thin sparkly material, a very thin and sparkly, peach scarf-looking thing wrapped around his back and arms so he held the near ends in each long, white, silk gloved hand, a pair of strappy, peach, high heeled shoes(which weren't even visible due to the length of the dress), and a shiny, beautiful, pearl necklace resting gently on his neck and chest with a matching pair of earrings. The makeup on his face should have looked hideous on a boy, but instead, made his gentle and subtle girlish features stand out quite beautifully. Something, something Edward couldn't quite place, was different about his hair. All that and the small, pearl and diamond studded, silver tiara placed ever so gently on his head, made him look _**unmistakably**_ female.

Had Edward not known for a fact that this was his brother, he would never have thought that the innocent creature in front of him could ever possibly be a boy.

Edward's appearance was completely different, besides the princess look.

His ball-gown was a shiny, silky, sparkly, resilient gold with the slightest tint of orange that curved over every detail of his body perfectly until over his wide, feminine hips, then poofed outwards more to give it that classic Princess-y look. Around his shoulder's the sleeves of the gown seemed to tie themselves into graceful knots and around his slender back. Black glitter coated the entire dress, and thin, dark blue thread lined every stitch, every detail perfectly outlined. Silky white gloves covered his arms almost completely, leaving hardly any sun-kissed, smooth skin showing at all, however, it did show just enough of his right arm for one to see the metallic gleam of his automail.

Several tiny jewel rings of vibrant colors decorated his fingers. Diamond and sapphire dangly earrings carefully swayed at each movement, matching the diamonds and sapphires that shimmered and glimmered on the gold tiara that was much bigger than Alphonse's and was also embedded with pearls and emeralds. His ever so slightly silver-thread laced golden locks curled and cascaded down his shoulders, his bangs half tucked underneath the tiara, half flowing loosely over it, the ever present trademark antenna poking out just in front of the largest gem on his tiara. A weave of gold-tinted pearls strung around his neck. His usually bright pink lips, coated in dark, cherry-red lip stick, making them stand out the most on his face. The rest of the subtle makeup enhancing each small beautiful detail of his face. His _**unbearably**_ high, black-as-night pointy heeled, strappy shoes glinted when the small, blood-red rubies were exposed. _Sheer_ _**elegance.**_

Had Alphonse not been positive this was his suborn older brother standing in front of him, he would have bowed down or curtsied, whatever seemed most appropriate, to the goddess and assumed her to be Queen.

The long silence was broken by laughter.

"Damn, Alphonse. You'd make a pretty cute girl." Edward giggled lightly.

"Seriously. Did you even _**look**_at yourself in a mirror or something? I can hardly believe it's even you, Brother!" Al laughed hard.

"T-To be honest, no! I have don't have any idea what I look like! Do you?" Ed laughed as well.

"Nope!" they continued laughing for a while. It slowly began to die away. As soon as it had fully dissipated, Ed and Al glanced at each other and ran off behind the dark entrance way, dashing to find a mirror somewhere in the huge mansion. Before they got far, Armstrong had came from seemingly nowhere and dragged them back.

"My apologies, dear Princess's, but you must stay within my sight at all times! I cannot allow you wander off, no matter the importance. So is the official orders of the Queen." he had said.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Whatever! Just put us down so we can go find a mirror!" Ed growled. Armstrong gently released them, Edward's arms folded across his chest angrily.

"There is no need for that my darlings!" he laughed. " I can assure you, you have never looked more radiant and beautiful than ever before! Edward, my dear, you look just like the queen you are destined to be!" he said with almost a fatherly tone.

Edward blushed deeply, not expecting the compliments. Did he really look that good? And what was all this 'Queen' nonsense? The day he'd be Queen of _anything _was the day where Alphonse hated cats, Lt. Havoc quit smoking, and Colonel Roy Mustang admitted to being gay. _That_ was the day he'd be Queen.

Alphonse pondered something for a moment, muttering, "Wait…Queen…" then he looked up at Armstrong and asked with big innocent eyes, "Is our Mother the Queen?"

Hearing this, Edward's eyes widened with anxiousness. The larger man laughed and said, "Well, not quite but you're on the right track, my dear boy!" He laughed some more. Edward and Alphonse exchanged disappointed and confused looks.

"What do you mean we're 'on the right track'?" Edward questioned.

"Oh, you'll see later tonight. But fret not, my dear Princess's! For tonight is the most important night in the history or the Kingdom of Nowhere! It shall be _fantastic_! _Flawless_!" he exclaimed with pride and joy.

"Well, what's so special about tonight? I mean, I know it's my seventeenth birthday, but why is that so important that like, the fate of the world depends on it?" Edward asked. Armstrong seemed to get nervous and falter in his speech. Edward picked that up and glared at him.

"What aren't you telling me about tonight? Why are you keeping secrets from me? What don't you want me to know?" he demanded. Armstrong shook in gloom and despair.

"I assure you Princess, I have your best interest at heart! But there are some things that most of the Kingdom has agreed it would be best that you didn't have knowledge of prior to it's happening. I am terribly sorry. Do forgive me, please."

"Damn you! Why won't you tell me?" he busted. "If everything you nutcases say is true about me, and I **am** this important princess, then I **demand** you inform me of tonight's events!" A moment of silence passed. "Now, Damn it! Tell me, **now**!" he cried.

"Brother, please calm dow-" Al started.

"OH! Look at the time! I must be on my way! I-I believe I hear the Queen calling me!" he tried to escape from the conversation, but Edward wouldn't let him. No way, no how.

"Not so fast, Armstrong! I thought you couldn't leave us alone? Queen's orders." he stated, hands on his hips. He almost immediately stopped and folded his arms over his chest. Oh yeah. Once he could talk to Alphonse alone, they were making a pact to slap each other if they did girly things like that. He may have looked the part, but he wasn't about to let these psychos turn him into some kind of faggy man-princess.

Armstrong froze. "Fine." he said. "But I will tell you very little." He turned around and took several steps so he was standing by the left of the black door way of darkness. He glanced around to make sure no one was around. He folded his arms across his chest. Edward and Alphonse stood close, intent on listening very carefully.

"Remember, you did not hear this from me." he said.

"Yeah, Yeah, just tell us already!" Edward said impatiently.

"We have word from the future seers, that a series of events are going to take place tonight that will ultimately lead to you becoming Queen much sooner than you think. We have known of this for many, many years now. We tried to keep it a secret from the People, but word spreads fast in the Kingdom of Nowhere. You are the only two who are not aware of what will take place tonight. But the entire Kingdom's fate depends on you, Edward, not knowing. We have formulated a Plan and hopefully, it will work, and everything will go as smoothly as possible."

Alphonse took mental notes of every word, but Edward was getting really annoyed. He growled, "Damn it, you haven't told me anything useful yet!"

Armstrong scowled. "Don't rush me, boy. I'm trying to help you."

"Well, just skip to the good part already!" He was really trying the man's patience.

"Fine. Intolerably, impatient boy." he grumbled. Then his tone changed. what he was about to say next was epic.

"Tonight, you will be making the acquaintance of a very important guest." He cleared his throat.

"His Excellency, has chosen to grace us with his presence at your party. He is none other, than-"

For some unknown reason, Edward could feel great tension inside him, a giddy excitement of who this was. Not a specific person, but someone special he was really hoping for. He felt as though he were going to explode.

"-The _Dashing_ and _**Heroic!**_ Prince Roy Mustang!" He declared the statement as if it were the most epic words that could ever be spoken.

Alphonse nearly fell to the floor laughing at the expression on his brother's face.

Edward was disappointed, let down, hurt, felt sick to his stomach, and absolutely furious.

"WHAT? THAT _**BASTERD**_ IS COMING TO MY PARTY, AND YOU MADE ME THINK IT WAS SOMEONE SPECIAL! SOMEONE THAT ACTUALLY _DESERVES_ A TITLE SO EPIC? GAHHH! **I. AM GOING. TO KEEELLLL SOMEONE!**" Edward yelled and growled and screamed and hollered, but despair washed over him as he knew none of it would change anything. He could kick and scream like a baby all he wanted, but he'd still have to see _that basterd. _

Armstrong sighed. "I shall never understand why you despise him so much, nor will anyone understand, I fear. You've only met him once. And you were so young at the time, no one expected you to remember." he said.

Edward growled, "I need to go cool off for a bit. **Don't** follow me." And with that, he left, stomping away angrily. Armstrong waited until he was out of sight. He looked at Alphonse. "Come closer, boy, so that I may inform you of the Plan. You are closest with him. I feel if anyone could convince him of anything, it's you. Please. We need your help, Princess."

"I'm ready to help! Whatever I can do, let me know." he said quietly. Though his intentions were not as pure as the older man thought. '_Yeah, like I'd really turn my back on my own Brother. Once I know these psychos plans, I'll tell Brother and we can make our own plan. To escape this nuthouse!'_

Princess Edward stomped all the way to the back of the mansion, and found his way to the garden. Acers and acres as far as the eye could see of multicolored roses, trees, bushes, and all different kinds of plants. He found a large fountain continuously spraying water into the air, creating a misty rainbow.

He sat on the edge of the fountain, trying hard not to get his dress wet. If he did, he'd have to go and have the Asian women dress him again. _Ehhgg_. Never again.

He wasn't really mad anymore. He was upset. How did he get into this mess? It was crazy. Everyone was trying to convince him that he and his brother were Princess's and he was destined to be Queen! And now there was all kinds of something about a prophecy or conspiracy or God knows what. It was all to much for him to handle. And something about the Colonel being the _Prince _of this fairy tale land just didn't sound right.

_Wait…Backtrack for a second there…_

A Prophecy? God? No, something else- A Conspiracy! That was it! It all makes sense now! Everyone in this rotten place was conspiring against him. Trying to make him crazy and believe he's some sort of Princess? With special powers perhaps?

_Ha! They thought they could fool me! Welllll I'm just a little too smart for these wackos. I gotta tell Alphonse!_

He stood up smiling. Then sat back down, frowning.

_What if…what if Alphonse is in on this too? _

He stopped thinking for a moment. Truth, this was all a bit farfetched. Everyone he's every known and loved conspiring against him? Even his own Brother? And for what gain? What possible good could this do anyone to make Edward believe he was crazy?

This just didn't make sense. He had no proof of anything. No motive for any treason. No suspect. No Crime. No nothing! Like some sort of weird dream gone horribly wrong. Because he sat there and thought about it too much…. Just like how Alphonse over analyzes everything! That's what he must have been doing now! Over analyzing it. Just go with the flow, and expect, _Nothing_. What could possibly go wrong?

…Of course.. That's what they always say before everything that could possibly go wrong happens all at once…

He lost his train of thought as a bright blue butterfly flew right under his nose, and fluttered away. He turned around and looked in the fountain, no expecting anything like he planed. And Boy, did he see _something_.

He stared at his own reflection in the water, baffled and bemused and the wonderful image. Was that him? Could that golden goddess of a woman actually be himself? It didn't even _look_ like him.

He turned and adjusted his body in several different positions, wishing he could get a clear image instead of this blurry watery one of himself.

He reached out and touched the image. Just then, a small fox leapt up from behind a nearby purple bush. It convulsed and twitched in a puddle in front of him.

"…The Hell?…"

It got up, looked directly into Edward's golden eyes, and darted away. He stood up, grabbed hold of his dress so it would get dirty, because if it did, those Asians, _EEGHEG_, and ran as fast as he could after the little fox. Well, as fast as you can run wearing these high-heeled death-traps they called shoes. He tripped and caught himself more time than he could count before finally, after leaping over tress roots and bushels that strangely resembled poison ivy, he made it to a greenhouse looking shed. Through a small hole the little fox crawled in. Edward walked around and found the door. Weeds and God knows what else grew on it and covered the entrance. How to get through then? Thought Edward. He grinned, pulled his dress up high, and lifted his right leg.

'_At least these heels are good for something other than height.'_

He kicked the door hard and it gave way crumbling inside. Edward sighed, satisfied with his work. _Finally_, he got to destroy something. He stepped over the door rubble and gasped looking all around him. The room wasn't an abandoned greenhouse like he thought. It was a mirror room. Every wall and piece of the ceiling was a giant sparkling, clean and clear mirror. He smiled and ran to the center of the room, the sun's light just barely making it light enough to see. Every mirror in the room reflected him and his beautiful dress. It sparkled and shined and gleamed and glittered. This was definitely the kind of thing you wear when you want all eyes on you. He spun around and danced a bit watching his elegant and attractive reflection. The dress and his jewelry swayed and moved perfectly with his body. He made faces, struck a pose, did anything and everything he could think of. It was probably the most fun he'd had in a long time. What baffled him most though, was that the girl he saw was himself. It seemed so impossible that he could look like that.

He could hear the big clock back at the palace chime 8:00. It was dark outside, he could barley see now. How would he ever make it back quickly without ruining his dress and getting scolded? It took long enough to find this place. He wasn't even sure he knew the way back now. '_Welll this is just __**great.**__ What the Hell do I do now?_'


	4. Day3:Mistakes are forgivable:Youre Not

**Ed's Freaky Dreams: Part 3**

_Edward ran from the mirrored room in a sudden panic. 'Oh no!' he thought. __**DONG. DONG. DONG. DONG. DONG. DONG. **__"NO!" he gasped. __**DONG. **__Just before the eighth toll of the bell a bright flash of white light blinded the boy. _

Edward sat upright in his bed, panting hard. His heart was racing. '_What the Hell?'_ he thought, trying to catch his breath. That eighth toll of the bell. What could that mean?

The blonde threw off his blanket and stood. He stretched and tried to shake off this feeling of panic. He looked at his brother's bed and found that Alphonse was still sleeping peacefully. He relaxed a little and smiled. He tiptoed over and stood next to the dreaming boy asleep in his bed. He gently touched Al's face and stroked his cheek affectionately. Brothers were so cute when they weren't awake and annoying the fuck out of you.

Though Edward was usually pretty mean to his brother, Alphonse was always putting up with it and doing nice things for him. He felt like he should do something nice for the smaller boy for once. But what?

*Lightning struck the air and lit up the light bulb above Edward's head. What about breakfast? Alphonse always made him breakfast in the morning, so why couldn't Edward do the same for him? Truth, the young alchemist hadn't ever been able to make even the simplest meal without blowing something up before, but that wouldn't stop him from trying. Edward slowly crept out his room and silently closed the door.

About two hours later Alphonse was just starting to awaken. The sun was shining in the room just so much that it tickled the boy's nose as his head rested sweetly on his folded arms. He blinked open his eyes, sat up slowly, and yawned stretching his arms high above his head. Vision still hazy, the boy looked left and saw that his older brother's bed was empty. He cocked his head to the side and frowned. It wasn't like Ed to be awake this early; Much less awake before himself. '_Something's not right here…' _he thought. It was then that he noticed smoke drifting in from underneath the door. Al was shocked and confused, however the boy had enough common sense to jump off his bed and race into the kitchen where he heard a 'CRASH.' "Damn it!"

Alphonse searched desperatly through the thick gray smoke for his brother. He came to the conclusion that Edward must have attempted to make breakfast for them. A nice gesture but a horrible and stupid idea; Destined to be a complete and miserable failure from the start.

He coughed and covered his mouth and nose with his arm. His chest felt heavy and his eyes were blurry with tears. His mind drifted towards all the horrible things that could have happened, all because he wasn't awake to make breakfast for his brother. Alphonse was starting to believe that it was impossible for him to ever grow out of always feeling guilty and blaming himself for everything that ever happened. His heart skipped a beat when he just barely saw a figure drenched in water near the stove.

"Edward!" he called out. The older boy coughed hard and turned to look at Alphonse. "Al?" he managed to choke out. The younger one's face to on a look of extreme annoyance. He was right, as usual. Edward had done something stupid and nearly got them both killed. Again.

"WHAT have I told you about using potentially hazardous objects when I'm not in the room?" shouted Al.

"Oh, shut up, Al!" Edward screeched. He stomped his foot and threw a frying pan to the floor like a child. Al sighed in disgust and trudged over to help Ed put out the roaring fire in front of them.

Attempted to make edible substance; irresponsible; scares me to think of what would happen to u without me;

Edward trudged down the long winding road, clothes soaked and dirtied with the lingering smell of smoke, hair in a messy braid, and ears practically bleeding from having to listen Alphonse drone on and on about the incident. Normally it would have been hilarious to see his usually calm brother so royally pissed off. His use of big words, his voice getting high whenever he paused, his sentences stopping abruptly because he couldn't process how to finish them, the strong and powerful emotion in his words. All of that could be _so _entertaining at times. However, today it wasn't.

"Oh my GOD, I can't believe this. You are by _far_ the most _irresponsible, untrustworthy, _and _unreliable_ person **I've ever met.** You are _so_ **ri**-diculously stubborn and hard-headed- I simply cannot even _**fathom**_ how in Alchemy's name you would _ever_ think that was a good idea! It was an absolutely _hor__rible _idea- _I __**know**__ you can be stupid at times_, but how can even an **IDIOT **like _**you**_ fuck up this badly? Hhmm? Tell me, _dear brother of mine._" Edward opened his mouth to respond but before he could say anything Alphonse cut him off. "Oh, no. I don't wanna hear it mister. There is **NO** excuse for this!" Edward sighed. '_And so it goes on_.' he thought to himself.

*"This may be, on a _loonng_ list of fuck-ups, the **second **biggest fuck-up- of your- **entire**- life. I mean this is just- It _baffles_ me how a someone can become a State Alchemist at the age of twelve, attempt human transmutation at an even _younger_ age, and learn the secret of _and create _the Philasopher's Stone, _yet_ _somehow _**can't even **_**attempt **_**to make **_**an edible substance**_ _without__ burning down __**our apartment.**_"

"_Alllllllphooonsse._" Edward whined.

"I mean that just **blows** my _mind_. Like, _HOW_ is that even _possible?_ _HOW_ can you be that much of an _IMBOSILE? WHY _FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WOULD YOU _EVER _TRY TO PUT OUT A **FIRE** WITH A _FRYING-PAN_? I mean- just-" he paused, fingers pulling at his hair, mouth open wide, finally at a loss for words. "_Why?_" He emphasized this by throwing his arms out. "_What_ would lead you to believe that would have _any_ effect _at all_? Why would you do that? Tha- That just doesn't make sense to me!"

"Are you _done_ yet?" Edward glared at his brother.

"Yes, thank you, I am." Alphonse answered nodding his head and staring wide eyed at him.

"Thank _Alchemy_. I thought you'd never shut up! Do you realize you nearly bored me to death with your nagging?" Edward said.

"Do you realize you nearly _burnt our apartment down_ with your incapability to perform even the simplest of tasks without supervision?" He replied dazed.

"Shuuuutt upppp!" he groaned.

"Seriously, do you know what you've just done? Do you have _any_ common sense? I used to _think_ you did, but you sure as Hell have led me to believe otherwise." he said astonished.

Ed laughed sarcastically and ran his fingers through his hair. "You know, I _reeaally_ don't need this right now. I've got enough to think about already and you attacking me isn't making my headache any better!"

Suddenly Alphonse's face lit up like he had just found out the meaning of life. "Is that it? You've just got so much on your mind that you got distracted and-"

"JUST LET IT GO, AL! NOT EVERY THING IN LIFE HAS AN ANSWER SO STOP TRYING TO FIGGURE ME OUT! Damn!" Edward bellowed before stomping away in a huff, leaving a very shaken and surprised Alphonse behind.

"Uhm, … I'm sorry…" whispered the younger boy to no one, now feeling scared and alone.

1* You know, like, when a little light bulb appears over someone's head when they get an idea. I guess I was using like a ….not a metaphor but not a simile… I dunno. It sounded right to me.

2* Edward has made a lot of mistakes. Alphonse is saying this is his second worst. The first obviously being when they attempted human transmutation on their mother.


End file.
